Promising News

Give Them Shelter

2010-05-06T14:33:00.001-04:00

We are gearing up for a new event, a walk to raise awareness of the issue of family homelessness and to raise funds to support Family Promise of Greater Toledo. I'm very excited about the walk, which is being held on June 5 at beautiful Ottawa Park in Toledo. Be sure to check out our walk website and register online to participate.

This family-friendly event is perfect for Family Promise. I think about all the families we have seen come through our doors, some leaving us for permanent housing, some moving on to other shelters or being reunited with family. We hope every family walks away from us with the belief that someone - actually many people - really care about them. They are not alone as they deal with the crisis of homelessness.

If you in our area - please join us. But don't let time and distance stop you from supporting Family Promise. Every family deserves a place to call home. Every child is worthy of love.

Dehumanization

2010-02-25T09:29:00.001-05:00

I attended a meeting yesterday, and the discussion turned to a new shelter in town. The main focus of that shelter is to create an experience that does not institutionalize homeless people. What was described sounded more like a well-meaning flop house, than an actual program that helps people move forward. In fairness, my reaction is based only on discussions about the philosophy and practice of the shelter, and not on firsthand experience. It may be very different in actuality. The point is, it got me thinking about Family Promise and how we handle this issue.

Yes - I do think that there is a potential for some shelters to create an institutionalized atmosphere where some of the participants may lose their dignity and feel less than human. I don't believe the answer is to create an environment where anything goes. Family Promise is all about restoring dignity and treating everyone - from the client/guest to the volunteer/host - with respect.

I was glad to hear one of our former guests answer the charge of "Isn't it difficult? Moving from church to church?" with this response: "I felt like I was being welcomed into a community every night - I wasn't the homeless lady going into a shelter - I was just part of a family going to church." She went on to talk about her experience, meeting so many new people who were very different from herself - but then weren't so different once she got to know them. And she appreciated so much kindness. She knew that people all across our city were praying for her. I believe prayer is a shower of good thoughts and energy, well wishes for the recipient. She was overwhelmed by the experience.

Dehumanizing? Not this program.

Mark Your Calendar - June 5, 2010

2010-02-22T23:33:00.001-05:00

We're working hard to plan our first walk - and we need your help to make it a success.

Intended to raise both awareness and funds to support Family Promise, Give Them Shelter, will be a great event for families, community groups, and individuals.

I'm really energized by the great group of local professionals who have come together to make the walk happen. Many thanks to Rebecca Booth, for the fantastic event logo. When asked for a design - she produced several - and we had a hard time choosing just one! What a great gift.

Give Them Shelter, 2010 Walk to End Homelessness, is a 5K walk on Saturday morning, June 5. Details will be announced soon. Keep watching this space for more information!

2009 In Review

2010-01-13T11:37:00.000-05:00

Every January, we take a little time to compile a few statistics and compare our numbers to previous years.

Family Promise of Greater Toledo served 40% more families in 2009 than in 2008 and those families included significantly more children. Additionally, we served more two-parent families than ever before.

It is expected that a single parent family (generally a mom) will be at a higher risk for homelessness. Two-parent families have a better chance of at least one person securing and maintaining employment. With double-digit unemployment here in Toledo and in much of the nation, it isn't surprising to see these numbers increase.

Just Neighbors

2009-09-21T09:13:00.003-04:00

"Geneva" is a remarkable, strong woman. She has been participating in the Family Promise Homeless Prevention Program. This is an open letter from Geneva to all our Volunteers and Supporters:

We are neighbors. We see each other at the grocery store and drug store, our children are pleased to discover each other visiting the library or the community pool, we make plans together for school functions, we worship together. When I had surgery, you came over to mow my grass. I took care of your pets and brought in your mail while you were on vacation.

We are neighbors, and neighbors make communities; communities create the larger environment in which we all live. I am dedicated to making this community, my community, your community, the community in which all of our children are growing up, a better place, a safe place, a thriving, nurturing place. We all have opportunities for education, worship, culture, recreation, sports, a variety of arts, and just plain fun. Community depends on giving, volunteering, supporting, and engaging, on working together and being responsible.

I am in a very needy position. Subsequent to a family trauma, I have found myself very unexpectedly the sole provider and only parent in my home. Completely unprepared, without the support of family, and still trying to regain my equilibrium, I have been presented with traumatized children, a mortgage way outside my reach, lack of work experience or practical training, vehicles to be given back to a lender, health problems, and the list goes on.

Family Promise has stepped forward for my family with counseling, encouragement, legal help, practical advice, encouragement, ideas and connections, assistance navigating through the welfare system, and more encouragement. I am on the receiving end of financial and emotional support. This support is allowing me to work through my own adjustments while I help my children work through theirs. This support fills in the gap between our daily needs and what I earn while I work toward financial independence. This support has been a lifeline and has helped keep hope alive for us.

I desperately want my independence and my balance. I want to support my family and hold up my head. I want to prove to my children and to myself that regardless of any setback, we can move forward. I want so much to thank you all as a community, my community, for rallying around us, for supporting us. I want to thank you for treating me with dignity even though I feel shame at being in a position of receiving. And I want you to know that I am doing my level best to get back to giving to this community, and, that as I am able, I will be giving with a renewed spirit, a profound respect for those who keep going against the odds, and a sense of urgency to reach out.

Your generosity of spirit is beautiful! The safety net with which you have surrounded us has been strong and nurturing. Thank you for allowing us just what we needed to get on our feet again. Just what we needed! Thank you!

Typical Children? Almost.

2008-12-12T10:14:00.001-05:00

Chances are, you've seen children in your neighborhood who are very much like those pictured on this blog. They have lots of energy, cry, laugh and play hard. They are typical except for one thing. They have been homeless.

According to the National Center on Family Homelessness, children who experience homelessness are sick four times as often as middle class children and have high rates of acute and chronic illnesses. They suffer from emotional and behavioral problems that imerfere with learning at almost three times the rate of other children. They struggle with hifh rates of mental health problems such as anxiety, depression and withdrawal.

Homelessness is a devastating crisis for children. It is overwhelming and frustrating for parents, who want the same basic things for their children as other parents - enough to eat, a safe place to live, toys, friends, and to be surrounded by people who love them. Homelessness is not part of that plan.

Guests of Family Promise receive help and encouragement as they work hard to gain housing and stability. Parents meet with Staff daily. With their case manager, they identify needs, set priorities, make a plan and establish goals - complete with timelines for achieving those goals. Their days are filled with the mundane but necessary activities of setting and attending appointments, gathering paperwork, and doing whatever it takes to move forward. Each family plan is different, but the plans generally address parent and child education, employment, housing, and both physical and mental health needs.

Thankfully, our partners - religious congregations across the Greater Toledo are - offer tremendous hospitality and support providing children, along with their parents, a soft place to land each evening.

I'd really like to help you people, but. . .

2008-05-23T08:47:00.008-04:00

Every word after "you people" was lost to me. You people. You poor, homeless people. Clearly separate from me and my people. I was embarassed for the speaker. She had no idea what she was saying and I could tell she meant no harm.

I turned my attention to the other woman. "M" is a hardworking, single mother. Almost a year ago, she lost her job and subsequently her home. In desperation, she split up her family - one child staying with an uncle, the other with grandparents. No one would take her; they blamed her for her predicament. She entered a shelter for single women.

"M" described her time in the women's shelter almost like a prison. There were strict rules and chores - but that she didn't mind. It was all the lining up, regimented schedules, lack of empathy and compassion. Family tried to reach her during her time there, but no messages got through. Her purse was locked up - and only shelter staff had a key - but her small amount of money was stolen. She felt dehumanized - like so many cattle on their way to the slauterhouse. She even told her parents she didn't care if she lived.

Not surprisingly, she ended up at a local mental hospital, diagnosed with severe depression. She received counselling and was connected with ongoing support. Unable (and unwilling) to return to the previous shelter, she was given a list of numbers to call. One of them was ours.

Just 4 weeks later, M has been reunited with her children, is working parttime, and has applied for housing. Her dignity is restored, and her self-esteem is on the mend - but she is still wounded - still working towards recovery from losing her job and home, from the harsh realities of life in America when you are one of the have-nots. The words "you people" opened a wound that had not quite healed. One that may never heal.

Reduce - Reuse - Recylce

2008-04-22T11:30:00.003-04:00

Saturday we took part in The Great American Cleanup here in Toledo, and today is Earth Day.

A group of us spent time Saturday morning picking up trash in an alley a few blocks away from the Family Promise Day Center. We filled many garbage bags, and hauled large items (abandoned car doors, tires) to the corner for pick-up. It was a beautiful day - and good work to do.

A woman came out of her home - a home that borders the alley - and asked if we were volunteers from 4H. I affirmed that we were volunteers, but not from 4H. She was disappointed. I am not sure why! I told her what we were doing and why we were there, and invited her to join us. She quickly went back into the house. I did not see her again.

The volunteers who were working with me were mostly homeless clients from our shelter. They were not complaining about the work and did a good job. They were proud of the work they accomplished. I was astounded by the situation. A woman - with a home - watching homeless people clean up her neighborhood.

Really makes you stop and think!

Fair Market Rent

2008-04-09T14:05:00.002-04:00

This week, the National Low Income Housing Coalition (NLIHC) released Out of Reach, their annual report on the affordability and availability of housing at the national, state, and local level. The report's primary measure of housing affordability is the Housing Wage, which is the hourly wage a worker must earn to afford a two-bedroom apartment in their community.

The report finds that in 2008 there is no jurisdiction in the country where a full-time worker earning minimum wage can afford a one-bedroom apartment.

In Ohio, the housing wage is $13.07 - assuming a 40 hour work week, 52 weeks per year. Minimum wage in Ohio is $7. To afford the Fair Market Value of a two-bedroom apartment in Ohio, a minimum wage earner must work 75 hours per week, 52 weeks per year.

Domestic Violence

2008-04-06T08:57:00.002-04:00

Domestice violence affects almost every family we see at Family Promise. While we are not specifically a DV shelter, we certainly do work with families who are recovering from the affects of abuse.

These statistics come from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

1 in 4 women experiences domestic abuse in her lifetime.
1.3 million women are assaulted by an intimate partner each year.
Boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own partners and children when they become adults.
92% of homeless women experienced severe physical or sexual assault at some point in their lives.
Because a DV victim will leave her abuser multiple times before she finally escapes the violence, she and her children may experience multiple periods of homelessness.
46% of homeless women reported staying in an abusive relationship because they had nowhere to go.

People who live in abusive relationships suffer more than physical harm. The psychological damage pervades every part of their life - impairing judgment - and making the decisions of everyday life a challenge.

It's important that Family Promise volunteers understand the longterm and far-reaching impact of domestic violence on the families with whom we work. We must respond to both children and adults with great patience. Our social worker provides linkage to appropriate mental health agencies and outreach groups to help abuse victims recover from their experiences and move from victim to survivor.

From the kitchen

2008-03-29T19:20:00.008-04:00

The other day I was in the kitchen, talking with mothers who live in our shelter. One mom began talking candidly about her life. She said she is skeptical of church people because her pastor stole money from her. She has trouble trusting people, because she has been raped and abandoned by family members and people whom she trusted. Now, she looks at people who claim faith, and wonders if they really mean it.

Before she came to Family Promise, this woman had been living in her car with her children, one of whom has health problems. She says she is grateful to be with us. She is able to rest, and clear her mind, knowing that she has a roof over their heads, food to eat, and people who care about what happens to her family. She has made friends and can focus on moving forward.

Her personal faith is strong, and her self-esteem is growing. She is intelligent, articulate, and educated. Language arts and writing were her favorite subjects in school, years ago. She loves her family and wants a good life for them. Sounds like a typical woman. And yet, she has lived through so much hardship. It is hardly imaginable.

Many people would look at her and pass judgment without even realizing what they are doing. "People are homeless by some fault of their own - a bad choice - a bad habit - they brought this on themselves and must learn from their mistakes." Okay. Sometimes that is true. But not all the time.

How about the people who are homeless because of the actions of others? These days, we get calls from people who have been paying their rent faithfully. The landlord loses the property in foreclosure and they get notification that they have to be out in 30 days. They live from check to check, as many Americans do. Whose fault is this?

What about the people who can't afford health insurance? One serious illness can be ruinous, causing them to lose a job, a home, stability. What about the people who worked hard at the same job for years, but the company shut down, or pulled roots and moved overseas? In this economy, a new job is not easy to find - especially here in Toledo where the unemployment rates are almost double the national averages.

Back to the moms in our program - I just had a fantastic phone call. The mom I was talking about signed the lease for her new home yesterday and will move this coming week. She says that good things keep happening since she came to Family Promise. She has keys. She is no longer homeless.

Welcome!

2008-03-27T09:11:00.001-04:00

This is a new adventure for me personally, and for Family Promise as an organization. I will try to post a weekly update - and on occasion - I may post more frequently when there is news to share.

Who are we?

Family Promise is an emergency shelter for families with children, who are experiencing homelessness in the Greater Toledo area. Through the tireless work of our many volunteers, Family Promise provides shelter, meals and a compassionate response to family homelessness. In addition, families receive ongoing case management, linkage with appropriate social service agencies to help address their individual needs, and support as they work their way through an extremely challenging time of life.

Family Promise began in New Jersey as the Interfaith Hospitality Network (IHN). Today, there are more than 130 affiliates throughout the US. We follow a model of hospitality, with religious congregations of all denominations welcoming homeless families into their church homes, as honored guests, on a weekly, rotating schedule.

Every religion has a mandate to care for the poor and specifically, to offer hospitality. Family Promise, IHN, provides a hands-on opportunity for congregations to live out their faith while offering families who have fallen on hard times a hand-up. Please check out our national website: http://www.familypromise.org/ and our local one, too: http://www.ihntoledo.org/

What will you see in this blog?
Updates on families - but to protect their privacy, full names will not be used.
Updates on issues about homelessness and advocacy.
Updates on what's happening at the Day Center and in the Network in general.

Please be patient with me as I learn the art of blogging!

Elizabeth Tore, Executive Director, Family Promise of Greater Toledo